| *backdate!* Last Supper |
[31 Dec 2005|04:23pm] |
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I have to put a hold on school. But that's not going to be a problem. Tonight is my last supper with my parents. Appropriately on Thanksgiving. And I've been thankful for all they've done for me. For the love and understanding they've shown for me, despite the fact that they only know half of me. Such is the trials of being Fae. Living on this tightrope of dreaming and reality. Being in balance is harder than ever, with the on set of Winter. Hazim is here. My family has never had a problem with the seemingly random people that end up parts of my life. He left his family, but he has his reasons I suppose. After dinner we'll be setting off for Cairo. Off to visit the Courts of the Oba, to lay low while Orion and Ryknar and those fuckers cool their jets. Don't know when that will be, but hopefully I'll be able to return home.
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| Out of Character: |
[24 Nov 2005|01:07pm] |
I made an update on my user info for this journal, as it wasn't clear.
This journal is not actually online. Livejournal is easy for myself and my storyteller to keep track of errant Nilaya thoughts, or pseudo downtime thingies.
Since the journal does not exist online within the World of Darkness, no one can get any IC information from it.
If anyone has done that, and I figure it out, expect the arbitration process to start. I take extreme care to not metagame. Please do me the same courtesy.
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| More Interociter Goodness |
[22 Nov 2005|11:11pm] |
*the interociter sparks up, through it you see a 17 year old girl with long brown hair, vaugely Indian feautures and purple eyes and tear stained cheeks. She is dressed like a bohemian hippy child, all flowy bright colors and too much jewelry. She appears to be sitting on a fish gutting table of a fishing boat, and the blue grey waters of the pacific can be seen behind her. She looks out with a very worried look on her face.*
Hi... I really hope this gets to the right person... I'm trying to reach Prince Keary, forgive me for not knowing the full title, I've never been one to stay up to date in courtly matters... Anyways... I need help. I feel that through this Winter so far, banality and power combined have been left to sit and rot in the hearts of the Nobles of Pacifica. Specificaly King Orion.
*she sniffles a bit*
He had currently declared war upon the County I live in. This whole thing has been blown WAY out of proportion. What worries me about him is this, I've at least tried to bargain for my people, and he turns his back, declaring me a traitor.
*her tears and sniffles dissapate into anger*
All I've ever done is fight to protect Liquid Silver and it's residents. It's my home as well as the home of others. No matter what happens it doesn't deserve to be violated. Throughout the entire time we had someone sworn to Duke Ryknar, he ignored us. We needed help, and he left us in the dark. Then he decided that we didn't deserve to have a Count of our own, that no one within the county was worthy in his eyes, so he shoved us all aside for one of his buddies. We reacted harshly, none of us wished to be led about by someone who didn't know our land and didn't know US. A leader who disconnects themselves from that which they rule, thus prove themselves to have no compassion or respect for that which they rule. We all refused to acknowlege Malakai as our Count. He has never bothered to visit our County, before or after he was appointed by Ryknar. So we protested. Some of us decided to move off the lands of Pacifica, but apparently, they didn't actually. So now King Orion is declaring war, because we care about our home, we are traitors. He has already sent out troops to our homes. Heck, they even ended up at my parent's house. They were to capture me, and cut out my tounge. But Orion's troops failed in their mission. Some of them died, due to a horrible boating accident caused by a Piskey. And now, as my parents celebrate Thanksgiving in my home, with the rest of my family, I'm forced to prepare for war. I don't wish to fight, I really dislike violence. But I can not stand by and let someone destroy my home.
*the tears kinda start up again*
I mean.. I've lived here my whole life... even before I came to realize my fae soul. I have a family that loves and cares for me, even though I randomly run off every now and then with no explination. They accept me for who I am, even though they don't know all of me anymore. There's a lot more to this County then the Nobles of Pacifica bother to realize. And if they come in and essentially kill us all, as Orion has led me to believe, they will be loosing possibly the most passionate, for the dreaming people that live within the boundaries of Pacifica. It saddens me to think that Orion is willing to risk more of his troops lives to come and kill us so-called "traitors", especially when there are much much bigger threats on the line, such as the Fomorians.
*she starts to mutter a bit*
In fact, one might think he wants Pacifica to be weak and fall to the Fomorians....
*She straightens up, wipes her face*
Anyways, I Nilaya Donahue, an Eshu of the County of Liquid Silver, wish to seek a non-violent solution to this mess. My request has fallen on deaf ears throughout Pacifica, and so I turn to you. From what I have heard, you too would fight hell or high water to protect your home, so I felt that perhaps you would understand where I come from in this matter. I wish that Pacifica could see Spring, however, if Orion continues to kill due to bruised ego, that will never happen. Please, help me protect the dreaming in my home. I will do the same for you if you ask.
*she gives a little bow from her seat*
Thank you for your time.
*the interociter fades out*
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| Looks like I'll need my boat... |
[13 Oct 2005|09:41pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 aggravated |
] |
Good thing I salvaged it from my trip. I guess it hasn't come accross, but I fucking hate the Nobles. They assume far to much and have NO RESPECT for the basic rights of anyone. Sure, because we are fae we don't live as the regular humans do, but we still shouldnt ignore rights we have in the mortal world in the fae world. It's wrong. So maybe I'm unusual for hanging on to my human life. I can't help it, I love my parents, and they accept me for who I am, even if they don't quite understand it all. I love where I live. Sonoma County is a beautiful place and I never want to leave it for good. I may wander, but I always come back. It is my HOME. No matter what some fucking high horse noble says, I will not leave. They'd have to fucking kill me. If they force me to forget, I intend to make my fellow commoners make me remember. I will not go away. They will not impose their whims on me and my people.
This rant has been brought on by a certain pair of nobles. Ryknar (or however the fuck he spells it) and Malakai. I will not give them the benefit of titles. They have finally taken the steps I saw coming, and have tried to ban people from their homes. Kayden, in fact, has been banished. While of all things, now more than ever, he and the proudly non-noble have gotten along. I even told Ryknar that himself! And he goes and pulls this shit. I knew it. Fucking bastard doesn't listen to those he considers beneath him.
I don't normally get riled up. I'm supposed to be the happy-go-lucky one!! But I can't stand seeing so many people be so disrespected! It's disgusting!
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| Captains Log! |
[18 Sep 2005|08:30pm] |
Over the last two days I got to see a good number of my fae work together. Something changed on the higher end of things and Kaden is not longer the Big Bad Dukes bitch. We all got along with him much better. It helped that Hazim did not show himself.
Anyways, I'm currently adrift at sea, and I have no clue where the boat will take us.
Oh yeah, for some reason Kayden stayed on my boat. Maybe it's because he lost his. Maybe it's because he doesn't like JayJay's Starfighter. After all, JayJay did stop towing us as soon as danger presented itself. Just like an episode 4 Han Solo. Damn pervert pooka man.
The engine is broken, and Kayden and I have both exhausted ourselves sending the boat farther along. I gotta try to get this thing home, I have plans for it.
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| Tides keep changing |
[06 Sep 2005|03:44pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 annoyed |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Mark Lanegan - Miracle |
] |
I wish I could see why certain things are going on in my county. Yes, my county. I've lived here for all of my life. Minus a year wandering abroad, and several family vacations. I find it funny that if I as a fae "commoner" choose to refuse to succumb to the petty whims of the "nobles" around me I'll be "banished"
"So Sorry Mom, but I have to move away, because some self important dick of a Sidhe decided that he didn't like me, because I recognized him for what he was." Or even better, if I stay, and they try to come and kill me off because I've become so "anti-establishment" that's an even better story.
"We're sorry ma'am, but the bright and creative girl you've come to know and love was murdered by cold iron. Terribly sorry."
There's a reason the fudal system didn't stick around. It was too banal for the un-glamourus!
I wish I could say things would be easier if Kayden was made Count months ago. Sadly, that would have only gotten him killed. Because some insolent whelp (worse than me!) seems to not be able to rest until Kayden is dead. He even (illegally) challenged him to the Dragon's Dance. So now all we have is Kayden as "Viscount" which is just irking Hazim. And some "landless" new Count who looks like he's going to try to slime his way into my county. I'm sorry, but I know I'm not the only local fae who would revolt at a fucking foreign Count.
It's like Big Bad Dukey decided that since none of the "common folk" would swear to him without asking questions, he decided to find some flunky who would. We already have a flunky here, we don't need more. The flunky we have suits us fine, the only person with a fucking stick up his butt is Hazim.
Why can't we just focus on rebuilding our county? Both freeholds have balefires now, why can't we work on making things hospitable for the rest of the county. We do have a decent population, just most are in hiding.
I wonder which house our former tyrant of a Count was from....
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| In other news... |
[12 Jun 2005|10:42pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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still freakin pissed. |
] |
I'm glad to say that a certain person did not die like he said he might.
Allthough I am sad to say that someone else did. I didn't know him very well, but there was something very special about him, and I wish I could have saved him. I don't think the alliance knows what they're doing. They could harm this county more than help it. It worries me.
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| Responsibility of the Home |
[12 Jun 2005|10:27pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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frustrated |
] |
I may wander, however, I have a place I always come back to. Simply put, it is my home. Now, there are certain things that have been happening, where those in the higher eschelons of political power would like to think that they can just sweep in when the mood suits them and dictate their whims to the fellow people of my home. "You will not get ~this~ because you refuse to become my little lap-bitch." I'm am completely disgusted. After leaving us to our own devices, and not giving a fucking DAMN about us he wants whoever steps up to swear to him. If he wants a lapdog for our leader he might as well have chosen Kayden. But aparently Kayden isn't good enough for him? A fellow Shidhe? Of his own House? Perhaps it is because nobody listens to Kayden. If the Duke were an observant man he would have noticed that the people stoped paying attention to Kayden after he swore his fealty. Once he took that final step to being a spineless son of a bitch is when he lost whatever respect of the people.
If we choose not to swear, we are apparently in violation of some rule, from some King or Duke or some other sad sorry soul of a Shidhe that was probably put there as a means to protect ones power. If we declare ourselves independent we are apparently trespassers. So I'd be punished for wanting to do what is best for my home. I fail to see the logic here, allthough something tells me there really isn't any.
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| Politics |
[04 Jun 2005|11:37pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 thoughtful |
] |
| [ |
music |
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The Killers - Smile Like You Mean It |
] |
In the Nation of Dreams, if one set of peoples aren't being governed by those around them, does that grant them the right to succed and seek independence?
I believe it to be so.
We are capable of governing ourselves. We don't need an empty figurehead to tell us what to do. We especially don't need a whole Chain of empty figureheads.
Midsummer is coming up. I wonder what we shall do.
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| Long time.. |
[30 Apr 2005|03:51pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 blah |
] |
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music |
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Black Eyed Peas - Hey Mama |
] |
...No write.
Guess that happens when it takes a little while to just sit down and collect ones thoughts. Anyways.. where did I leave you all last... Ah yes, the random driving. It took me to Fresno. Was a long drive, but I like the stretch on either i5 or one of those other highways that take you through the windmill hills. I remember when I was a little girl and my parents were taking me to visit family in Merced, they told me that those hills were haunted. Mostly by the spirts from all the car accidents that have happened on that particular stretch of highway. I thought I could see them if I looked hard enough. So the whole ride through I'd be peering through the window of the backseat, dreaming what they'd look like, and how I could help them not be ghosts anymore.
*chuckles*
I didn't get scared as a child that often. Horror movies would come back to me in my dreams, but as I slept I managed to turn Dracula, the Mummy, and The Wolfman into good friends. I always wondered how many other kids did that.
In Fresno I ended up at this Storybook Park, which was a really neat place and I met a bunch of people, including someone else from nearby. He wasn't really nice though. But perhaps he is on the inside, I don't really know him, and was too busy talking to other people to try to get to know him. So I shouldn't make too many judgements yet. Met this really nice, but rather quiet, boy.. he gave me a little silver chain, I think I'll make it into a bracelet.. I spent the night down there near the park and came back home.
Not too much happened after that. Been working on school stuff, it's nearing the end of the school year, and next year, if all my projects get approved, I'll be in my Senior year. The official last year of High School. It means I'm almost done. Getting closer to official "adulthood".. Oh! That brings me to a point from last night, met up with some friends out at the beach, and a certain boy and I were talking about all sorts of stuff, and how he was really glad he got away from his parents once he turned 18. I couldn't really understand it, as no matter what happens to me their still my parents. But he changed and disowned his essentially. It's how how we contrast. But I should stop talking about that. Shouldn't talk too much about a certain boy. Allthough, I will admit here that I will miss him if he goes away. I think he's a fine partner for mischief making. If we were meant to make mischief though surely we'll meet again someday.
Maybe, once upon a time we met allready.
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| Been home. |
[07 Jan 2005|01:27am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 chipper |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Keane - Bend and Break |
] |
Back with the parent's has been interesting. Rather lazy, but still interesting. It's nice to be able to rest up and recharge so-to-speak. Mom and Dad are doing that "omg our baby's back!" thing and have been spoiling me rotten. But then again.. I think I've been kinda spoiled for a good portion of my life. Don't think it's particularly affected me in a negative way though. I still know how to share. Sharing is fun, mainly because if you end up providing something someone needs, or wanted themselves, the look in their eyes after it's just been given to them is such a nice thing to see. All warm and thankful and hopeful. Those kinda feelings are what I like seeing in people. So many are so bitter about their lives, everything sucks, blah blah blah, they don't take the time to see the little things to be happy about, or what they really have, they don't sit back and live and enjoy living. It's something one should be able to do no matter where they are, enjoy being who they are. Because if you can't do that, then what kind of life are you living? Aren't you just torturing yourself?
Gosh, I'm rambling again...
But back home, seen some old friends, they seem to be doing okay. Had to meet with my "educational director" to talk about where I went and what I learned along the way. I'm going to have to write a couple reports on some of the places I saw, so I can earn credits for the year.
Oh yeah, I go to this really hippy school in Sebastopol, where it's essentially home-schooling but we have a set teacher type person assigned to us that we meet with to go over our "classes" and to grade our work in order to make sure we actually do earn our High School diploma. Some kids show up on regular days, and I will admit I do have a looser schedule than some of the other students, but I did get prior permission to not meet up with Mr. Henessy (my ed. director) for such a long time. We did keep in touch though. Through my parents and the occasional letter. They don't mind that I'm such a gypsy though. Mainly 'cause my parents put money into the school.
Anyways, there I went with the rambling again.. I wonder if I do this in person.. if I do no one has told me so. But I think I'm going to take the car (travel by conventional means! Gosh! I'm such a rebel ^_^) and see where it takes me tomorrow (today.. eek it's almost 2am now) after that, I'm sure I'll write about it in here later.
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| The first Thought |
[24 Dec 2004|11:04pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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cheerful |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Hooverphonic - One Way Ride |
] |
Something is changing
grown in your mind
can't do a thing about it
living a normal life...
Hoverphonic - Barabas
Nearly a new year, but instead of going someplace new, as I am wont to do, I'm heading back "home." I use the quotation marks, mainly because for me, wherever I am is home. The joy and warmth one normally associates with home and family I manage to find wherever I go. Perhaps I am lucky, I most certainly am blessed, for it's a wonderful thing to be able to do.
So I'm heading back to my family. It should be a good time, for it's been about a year since I've seen them. I suppose you can say I had to leave on a journey of "personal growth" and went to look into myself to re-discover myself. And I've found I'm not who I always thought I was. But in the end, it will be all the same, and I will still be me.
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